[Debian-ha-maintainers] Becoming a Debian Maintainer - and behavior of DDs

[Paul Tagliamonte]

I started replying to this mail, but I found that I really don't want
to. I'm guessing you don't want me to, either. After all, I'm just a
person. A person totally unrelated to this, who knows nothing of facts,
and will never know the facts.

So, let me treat this mailing list like my blog, once again, and talk a
bit about something I do know a bit about - ways in which teams fail.


So, Richard, here's what I have to say and/or think on this -

My current job is being thrown into a large amount of dysfunction, with
a small bit of air-cover, and to work to stabilize things which are
unstable, and help to foster a culture of engineering in a place which
doesn't take well to that.

I see a lot of things. I see a lot of good things, and I see a lot of
bad things. Often times it's not clear who's right, and frankly, it
doesn't matter, because it's not important.

It doesn't matter if doing something way X is better or worse than way
Y when half the team is refusing to cooperate. Turns out that's a bigger
issue.

Technical failures in 1-50 Million USD/year projects are *rarely*
technical in nature, rather, they're Social. I don't see why Debian is
any different.

Sometimes this takes the form of experts being ignored, sometimes it
takes the form of antibodies being sent to kill good work, and sometimes
it takes the form of rules designed for one situation being
misinterpreted and applied to cases that don't sit in-line with the
principal of the rule.

Good work often dies. People get angry. Defenses go up, and everyone
loses. People start to fight about who's violating what rules, and
suddenly everyone's at fault for all the failures everywhere.

What's lacking in teams, generally speaking, is usually empathy.

It's pretty easy to get that frustrated and annoyed pit of your stomach
where all you want to do is fight with someone. I get it often. I'm part
of the problem. I'm cocky, and sometimes I don't listen at all. I'm
pretty quick to blame other people, and I have a long list of
personality faults. But that's not really the point of this email.

I'm aware of these things, and it's something I try to monitor, because
the fact is, I'm helping to shape the culture and team around me. People
will read the things I write and change their behavior. Sometimes in a
good way, sometimes in a bad way. I'm an imperfect person, so I'm going
to have an imperfect effect on things around me.

This entire spat in this team is frustrating, and it looks very murkey.
I don't want to weigh in because I have no buisness doing so. All I know
is I get the feeling no one is *listening* to eachother.

People don't contribute to F/OSS or Debian because they are
mean-spirited evildo-ers who want to rule the world, because frankly,
there are quicker ways to do that. People contribute because they care.
Myon cares, and you care. These are facts.

Both of you want to make the world a better place and make Debian a
better place. This is a fact I've accepted.

The failure here appears to be based on communication, and feelings of
hurt. This is normal. This is basically the same as every other Thursday
I've seen for the last year.

Fealings matter, and ensuring we have a space where people don't feel
like there is a team of people undermining them is important. Even if
it's true, the *perception* is enough to cause, well, this email thread.

I've never talked with you before, Richard, but I see you litigating and
going on the offensive. I'm guessing this is because you feel wronged by
Myon, and the larger population needs to understand this, and ensure new
contributors don't feel this way. I agree. I want to make sure no new
contributor feels this -- true or false, perception or reality. I don't
know how, but I know it's not good. I'm *with you* on that. I'm sure
Myon is *with you* on that.

All I ask is that you empathize with eachother, and think about what the
situation looks like from their point of view.

As a general rule, I feel that I can learn a lot about a person after
they answer the following questions:

  1. What's your least favorite programming language, and why?
  2. Explain why people like that programming language.

If 2. is answered with "because their dumb dumbs", I know where the
problem is.

So, I guess my gentle invitation is for folks in Debian generally to stop and
think about the motiviations and reasoning for the things that people do
in Debian, and to not assume the problem is with other people.

For the most part, *we* are the problem. *I* am the problem. *we* have
failed countless people, and we will continue to. Let's start there and
find common ground.
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