[Debian-handbook-translators] proofreading of en-US/*.xml files and pushing

Fri Sep 25 07:27:29 UTC 2015

Hello,

On Fri, 25 Sep 2015, AYANOKOUZI, Ryuunosuke wrote:
> Dear authors,
> 
> I would like to push a commit of revising en-US/*.xml files.
> But before do so, would you check on the commit[1]?

I did review your commit and merged it after having applied some fixes:
- apt -o DPkg::options::= 
  => we really need the final "::"
- it was really /etc/systemd/system/ssh.service that I meant, that's the
  path to use to override /lib/systemd/system/ssh.service
- SSL really stands for Secure Socket Layer (and not Sockets)
- some formulation did not suit me, I changed them a bit more

Here are my changes:

diff --git a/en-US/05_packaging-system.xml b/en-US/05_packaging-system.xml
index 2595b0a..b2d71db 100644
--- a/en-US/05_packaging-system.xml
+++ b/en-US/05_packaging-system.xml
@@ -958,7 +958,7 @@ SHA256: 371a559ce741394b59dbc6460470a9399be5245356a9183bbeea0f89ecaabb03</comput
 	command line interfaces are very similar).</para>
 
         <screen>
-<computeroutput># </computeroutput><userinput>apt -o DPkg::options="--force-confdef" -o DPkg::options="--force-confold" full-upgrade</userinput>
+<computeroutput># </computeroutput><userinput>apt -o DPkg::options::="--force-confdef" -o DPkg::options::="--force-confold" full-upgrade</userinput>
 </screen>
 
 	<para>These options can be stored directly in <command>apt</command>'s
diff --git a/en-US/07_solving-problems.xml b/en-US/07_solving-problems.xml
index a0830bd..5a58efb 100644
--- a/en-US/07_solving-problems.xml
+++ b/en-US/07_solving-problems.xml
@@ -261,8 +261,8 @@ ntfscp (8)           - copy file to an NTFS volume.
       <indexterm><primary><command>info2www</command></primary></indexterm>
 
       <para>Note that the <emphasis>info</emphasis> system is not suitable for
-      translation, unlike the <command>man</command> page system:
-      most of the <emphasis>info</emphasis> documents are provided in English.
+      translation, unlike the <command>man</command> page system.
+      <emphasis>info</emphasis> documents are thus almost always in English.
       However, when you ask the <command>pinfo</command> program to display
       a non-existing <emphasis>info</emphasis> page, it will fall back on
       the <emphasis>man</emphasis> page by the same name (if it exists),
diff --git a/en-US/09_unix-services.xml b/en-US/09_unix-services.xml
index 15a83c5..481c252 100644
--- a/en-US/09_unix-services.xml
+++ b/en-US/09_unix-services.xml
@@ -2574,8 +2574,8 @@ exclude:
 	two wired interfaces and a wifi interface), and with
 	<emphasis>hotplug</emphasis> support on most bus types, the Linux kernel
 	does not guarantee fixed naming of
-	network interfaces. But a user who wants to configure his
-	network in <filename>/etc/network/interfaces</filename> needs
+	network interfaces. But users who want to configure their
+	network in <filename>/etc/network/interfaces</filename> need
 	a fixed name!</para>
 
 	<para>It would be difficult to ask every user to create their own
diff --git a/en-US/10_network-infrastructure.xml b/en-US/10_network-infrastructure.xml
index 2b8da17..d8d519f 100644
--- a/en-US/10_network-infrastructure.xml
+++ b/en-US/10_network-infrastructure.xml
@@ -120,8 +120,8 @@
       (<literal>172.16.0.0/16</literal> to
       <literal>172.31.0.0/16</literal>), each containing
       2<superscript>16</superscript> IP addresses. Finally,
-      <literal>192.168.0.0/16</literal> gathers 256 class-C ranges
-      (<literal>192.168.0.0/24</literal> to
+      <literal>192.168.0.0/16</literal> is a class-B range (grouping 256
+      class-C ranges, <literal>192.168.0.0/24</literal> to
       <literal>192.168.255.0/24</literal>, with 256 IP addresses each).
       <ulink type="block"
       url="http://www.faqs.org/rfcs/rfc1918.html"/></para>
@@ -249,7 +249,7 @@ net.ipv4.tcp_syncookies = 1
         <indexterm><primary>SSL</primary></indexterm>
         <indexterm><primary>TLS</primary></indexterm>
 
-	<para>The SSL protocol (<emphasis>Secure Sockets Layer</emphasis>)
+	<para>The SSL protocol (<emphasis>Secure Socket Layer</emphasis>)
 	was invented by Netscape to secure connections to web servers. It
 	was later standardized by IETF under the acronym TLS
         (<emphasis>Transport Layer Security</emphasis>). Since then TLS
diff --git a/en-US/14_security.xml b/en-US/14_security.xml
index 82ffdf8..da732a2 100644
--- a/en-US/14_security.xml
+++ b/en-US/14_security.xml
@@ -891,10 +891,11 @@ iface eth0 inet static
 </screen>
         <para>In the sample above, dpkg reports a change to SSH's service file
         that the administrator made to the packaged file instead of using
-        an appropriate <filename>/lib/systemd/system/ssh.service</filename>
-        override. It also lists multiple configuration files (identified by
-        the "c" letter on the second field) that had been legitimately
-        modified.</para>
+        an appropriate <filename>/etc/systemd/system/ssh.service</filename>
+        override (which would be stored below <filename>/etc</filename> like
+        any configuration change should be). It also lists multiple
+        configuration files (identified by the "c" letter on the second
+        field) that had been legitimately modified.</para>
       </section>
 
       <section id="sect.debsums">
@@ -1043,7 +1044,7 @@ iface eth0 inet static
 	unable to answer the legitimate queries. These types of attacks
 	have gained well-known acronyms: <acronym>DDoS</acronym> and
 	<acronym>DoS</acronym> (depending on whether the denial of service
-	attack is distributed or not, respectively).</para>
+	attack is distributed or not).</para>
       </sidebar>
 
       <para><command>suricata</command> (in the Debian package of the same
diff --git a/en-US/15_debian-packaging.xml b/en-US/15_debian-packaging.xml
index ef657e7..425d5a7 100644
--- a/en-US/15_debian-packaging.xml
+++ b/en-US/15_debian-packaging.xml
@@ -705,7 +705,7 @@ release_label = Internal Packages
       <para>Since <command>mini-dinstall</command> has been designed to run
       as a regular user, there's no need to run it as root. The easiest way
       is to configure everything within the user account belonging to the
-      administrator group in charge of creating the Debian packages. Since only
+      administrator in charge of creating the Debian packages. Since only
       this administrator has the required permissions to put files in the
       <filename>incoming/</filename> directory, we can deduce that the
       administrator authenticated the origin of each package prior to
-- 
Raphaël Hertzog ◈ Debian Developer

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